The Super Bowl Saved Lives

Brees saved New Orleans, but not Carlton's career

What’s crack-a-lacking, y’all? Did you have a good weekend? I am sure you all watched the biggest event of the weekend. But after you watched Jack Layton’s announcement that he has prostate cancer, did you watch the Super Bowl?

I sure as hell did. What a game that was. I was very interested in the contest simply because I enjoy the game of football immensely. Both the Saints and the Colts had prodigious seasons and I was curious to see who would be crowned the champion.

Great Canadian Laugh-Off

Hey people of the interwebs,

What’s happening? I hope you had an awesome weekend. I saw the movie ‘Paranormal Activity’ last night. It was terrifying. After watching it, I swear I could hear a demon whispering my name while I slept last night. Which is very peculiar, because I can’t hear anything when I sleep.

Comedy Death on a Tuesday Night

Don't worry, I wouldn't actually kill myself. You were worried, weren't you?

When you think of stand-up comedy, you probably think of Yuk Yuk’s, Last Comic Standing or Just for Laughs. Maybe you even think of Def Comedy Jam. I’m not here to judge.

The common thread linking those shows is that they consist of a paying audience that has come to watch some stand-up comedy. They are loose, limber, and ready to laugh away their worries. That is a beautiful thing. It becomes even more beautiful when you compare these shows to some of the god-awful, shiteous rooms that a comic has to endure in their day-to-day travails.

In Praise of Real Talent

Ain't you never seen a hot girl drawing in sand before?

There are some phenomenally talented people in this world. I wish there was a YouTube that was solely for people with real talents. They could call it YouTalent.*

Don’t get me wrong. I love YouTube. I worship at the altar of YouTube. (I’m afraid of angering Google with my YouTube bashing because they can make it impossible for me to access YouTube from my computer. They can do that!)

The Similarity Between Joaquin Phoenix and Me

This isn't just a beard. It's a haven for injured birds.

A couple of days ago, I started writing a brief little snippet about why I enjoy John Mayer’s music.  That ‘brief little snippet’ turned into a one thousand-word treatise that made it seem as if I would fellate John Mayer with no hesitation.

Because that rant stemmed from a tiny little thought, I’ve decided that I may write more posts that are not necessarily polished or coherent, but they come from my crazy brain. They may end up being masterpieces. Alternatively, they may end up being used as evidence in a courtroom one day as a testament to my insanity plea.

I am a John Mayer Fan

"Hi I'm John Mayer. Would you like to have sex?"

I’m a John Mayer fan. There, I said it. Whooo, that was hard. I know it’s frowned upon for a man to say he enjoys John Mayer’s music. I’m supposed to hate him because he writes a kick-ass love song. As if I don’t believe in love. Well, I do dammit! (Alternatively, he also writes songs about just straight-up fornicating with no mention of love. I also believe in that!)

All Hockey, All the Time

Polar bears playing hockey? Sure, why not.

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you may have surmised that the only things I enjoy in life are comedy, music, and possibly rainbows.

This is not true. I am also a huge sports fan. Like most Canadian males, hockey is my first love. My idea of a perfect day would be playing pond hockey all day, performing comedy at night, and making love to Wayne Gretzky to cap off a wonderful day (Maybe Mario Lemieux could film? Now I’m just getting greedy).

Songs for the Deaf

Today’s song for the deaf is by a little known group called Radiohead.

The reason I love Radiohead so dearly is because they make me feel. And really, that’s what music is all about. In the case of Radiohead, you can’t always tell what the feeling is.  Sometimes when I listen to them, I want to go out and hug every stranger I meet. And sometimes I want to jump off a tall building.

Birthday Stand-Up Action

What’s up gang? I hope you all had a terrific weekend.

My sister gave birth to a healthy baby girl so I now have four nieces. And both of my sisters have decided they’re not having any more kids. I guess it’s going to fall on this guy right here to conceive a boy. If that doesn’t happen, maybe I’ll try to re-connect with that Mexican waitress and her little guapo she claims I fathered. He does have blue eyes and a hearing impairment, so I kind of see her argument.

Songs for the Deaf – Birthday Edition

Happy Friday from two Johnny Cash impersonators

Happy Friday everyone. I’ve decided to re-name my music post ‘Songs for the Deaf’. It’s just too perfect not to use. It is the title of a kickass Queens of the Stone Age album and it’s so fitting because, you know, I’m kinda deaf.

I want to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday yesterday. A special thank you to my friends who came out to watch me perform. Many of you had never witnessed the splendor that is the Hot Box Café. You realized you were in for a new experience the instant you stepped inside and the pungent aroma of cannabis sativa entered your nostrils.